Bricks and Beachwood…

31 10 2008

Forget the credit crunch. Ignore the presidential elections. Forget, if you can, Brand and Ross (made much easier now if you don’t watch or listen to the BBC).

Instead there is something sinister lurking on our coastlines. Something big. Something dangerous. Something with a highly unusual message. And it’s yellow.

Yes, today, down on the south coast, a huge apparition has emerged from the sea. The creature, sporting clothing (unconfirmed at this point, it may be skin) with a bizarre message scrawled on it, has appeared from nowhere. Whilst some are speculating it may be part of a Russian terrorist plot (possibly akin to the Trojan Horse), others are wondering if the end is really nigh. Indeed there is photographic evidence of a creature attempting to kill, maim or befriend an innocent bystander.

The creature disappeared as quickly as it came, either returning to its presumed habitat or taken to the British equivalent of Area 51, based, I’m reliably informed, just miles to the east of the location the creature was discovered.

It has been rumoured that the British ‘Creature’ is similar to one found in Holland recently. It has sparked massive debate amongst scientists as to whether there is another intelligent creature, able to use the spoken and written word, on this planet. Sporting the same message, but wearing different attire (the British one was green), some have speculated that they may be part of a family, or that the colours are representative of gender.

More bizarre than its origins though is the message the creature has brought with it. People are confused as to whether to take this as a warning, a sign that, following the downturn in the markets and snow in October, the apocalypse is really on its way. Others though see the creature as a beacon of hope, here to remind people of the bigger picture in life.

Critics have attacked the poor English that the creature uses, and have warned people not to take it seriously until it can construct a proper sentence, but those in the art community have praised the ambiguous message, with someone sporting a slanted beret commenting “this is just, wow. I mean, it’s taken everything we thought we knew about art and…well…made it bigger“. It’s hard to argue. Another commented that “the smile is so significant in art, first we had the Mona Lisa, now we have this. It’s incredible.

The abrupt disappearance of the creature, coupled with its thoughtful message and the lack of governmental comment deepens this in mystery further. Whatever the true story of the yellow man, I’m sure we will find out from Channel 5 in roughly a month. Meanwhile, the photographic evidence of the creature:




One response

31 10 2008

That’s Brighton! the west pier in Brighton! I miss Brighton. Let’s all go to Brighton!

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