And the winner is…?

17 03 2008

Now I’m not usually one for celebrity gossip. But the recent saga involving ‘I’m-better-than-Lennon-was’ McCartney and ‘Hopalong’ Mills is just beyond me. Having split up due to media invasions of their private life, Ms Mills demanded £125million in settlements. Today she got £24.3million.  And naturally, she’s “very, very happy”.

Well who wouldn’t be?

That’s still £10million-ish more than McCartney was willing to pay her, but a substantial amount less than she really wanted. The money will enable her to provide a decent life for herself, and her child. And save the world in the process.

I’m sorry. I think it is morally wrong to be demanding such an obscene sum of money in the first place. I think Mills deserved a lot less than the final settlement gave her. And I think Macca will be glad to see the back of her.

I thought about this £24.3million. I wondered what I could buy with it. Theres a few things that spring to mind.

A lower league football club?

Fernando Torres?

A decent house (£1mill-ish)?

A yacht?

Enough fancy gadgets to last a lifetime?

Or, and here’s the radical thought (so bear with me), you could (note could) give some to charity. What an idea that is. Now I know that there are obscene amounts of money in football. And I really don’t like it, but, as they say, it’s the nature of the beast. So what sort of beast does that make Mills? Apart from a wealthy one?

I wonder how much of this £24.3million will actually go to charity? Of which, we all know, Mills is fond. And how much will buy her a swanky flat in London, as well as a holiday home in the Bahamas and a New York apartment. And I wonder if the two are proportional?

Maybe I’m being too hard on Mills, maybe she does need all that money to put her kid through university and private education (upwards of £30,000 through the course of the kids academic life maybe?). Maybe she does need somewhere to escape the threatening media who are intent upon destroying her life. Maybe.

Sorry, I’m not convinced. Mills is 40 now. Say, she manages to live until she is 80. Thats another 40 years. Which, if my math is correct, is £607,500 a year. Now I know a lot of people who would love to be bringing that home a year. The highest paid doctors are paid way less than that a year. Mills doesn’t ever have to do any work ever again. Ever. And she will still be swimming through the mounds of cash she has ‘earned’ today.

My gripe here is less to do with the figures though. It’s more the way this money has been earned. Now Macca earned that cash, through doing something he loved. He gave people entertainment, and has been hugely successful. If he has been successful for doing something, then fine. That, in my opinion is ok. But for Mills to come wandering into his life, marry him (although I’m still not sure why they got married in the first place), hang around for four years, claim a divorce because of the media intrusion, and then march out with a cool £24.3million? It’s gotta be one of the longest running, but best bank heists ever…




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